Do You Hear Me?

One common theme you guys see here is about 'listening,' you know.. simply NOT tuning someone out when they're talking to you.  Not to say as human beings we can't or aren't ever distracted, or we forget, or whatever the case, because that can and does happen.  What I'm talking about is the chronic habit of just not listening when someone talks.  It's the epitome of rude, of not caring, and shows a blatant absence of empathy and compassion.  This is NOT a good thing, folks.

As more is uncovered with my failing health, as things become more complicated as to the treatments, as my body revolts by making even simple tasks nearly impossible, I find my tolerance for being tuned out and/or not taken seriously has pretty much vanished.  I've hung in there for over a year dealing with this, and I'm just not on board with it anymore.  But you guys know this by now, I'm sure.

One more night of repeating myself, asking questions where the answer was already given, and finding myself in the middle of a energy-draining diatribe where T argues the argument and tries to blame everything on me.  I didn't say it right, didn't speak loud enough, said it at the wrong time, or just wasn't clear enough.  I'm calling BS on all of that, because I can't be anything other than perfectly clear these days.  I'm sick and weak and painful, which doesn't leave me a lot of energy to be creatively-difficult.  Hell no.. I HAVE to cut to the chase, because I don't have enough strength or energy to do anything else.

Why do I bother?  I've been here before and know how it plays out.  Men love to believe they're right, the only ones with answers.  No offense to any guys reading this who aren't cut from the typical cloth.  I know you exist and appreciate you all.  What I'm speaking of here are men who decidedly "Take the path of least resistance" and spin things in their favor.  Hey, if it works for you, congratulations.  But my guess is.. it absolutely doesn't.

Can women be like this?  Sure they can!  But for the sake of argument here, and from my personal standpoint and experience, I've dealt with MEN who do this, which is why that's my focus.

I can't make someone hear me, listen to me, respond to me, or respond or care or give a crap from any standpoint or view.  I can ask.  I can point out the obvious, IF that person is open and not a total asshole.  But I can't make anyone change.  What happens, by default, is that I end up changing the way I communicate with such people, and that usually means... I stop communicating.  It's inevitable, and it's happened before.

Whether the approach is to be a rip-roaring ass or indifferent zombie, the result on MY end is the same.  I don't have any interest in sharing thoughts, dreams, life, whatever with someone who is a jerk in response or barely hears what I'm saying, much less remembers what I'm saying.  Why on earth would I waste so much effort on people who doesn't deserve it?  Rhetorical question, of course.

I'd like to finish my thoughts on this, but unfortunately the jump in dosage of the Azathioprine is kicking my ass.  I will have to finish this another time...

Thanks for your patience, guys....