It never ceases to amaze me when T expresses his belief that he should have my trust whether he's broken it or not. Disrespecting me doesn't make me trust you; In fact, the opposite is true. Break my trust and it's no longer MY job to extend it to you again. Yes..you absolutely have to earn it again. Or not. It's entirely up to you. My part is done.
Trusting someone is more than just about not cheating in a relationship or choosing to NOT lie. It's much more than that. When someone mistreats you the trust leaves just as easily and abruptly as if your bf/gf/wife/husband had cheated.
If you play games with my trust--you WILL lose my trust. Those in my past who have toyed with my trust, my feelings... lost my trust and did so quickly. I won't be toyed with again, and I also will no longer waste any precious time or energy on worrying, hoping, or even working to regain that sense of trust of that person. I've spent far too much energy in the past trying to find the why's and wherefores in the wake of someone doing something absolutely childish and stupid, something that hurt me deeply and destroyed my trust in them. Life is just too damn short for that.
Guys, I will tell you this: If you're toying with a woman's feelings, her self-esteem, trying to get a rise out of her at the expense of her self-esteem, trying to make her jealous... you WILL lose in the end. I guarantee it. Either your life will be made miserable as you find yourself in the garden of decay that was once your relationship, or you will find yourself alone. So it's best you know what outcome you're expecting, what you're expecting to gain by such behaviors.. before you embark on a journey you may not be able to come back from.
The other way to lose trust is by being indifferent. Oh yeah, I know.. there's the "I" word again. But this is just as damaging, because if you're indifferent to someone enough times they will eventually not trust you with their feelings. This isn't unlike the mistrust you get from an affair, purposefully trying to make her jealous, and so on. The only difference is that the response isn't going to be explosive and intensely emotional. Nope. In fact, the damage is slow and insidious and permanent.
Because of my past experiences, mainly the most recent one, I've little tolerance for those things that hurt me, make me feel less-than. Life is an excellent teacher if you're willing to learn.
Oh, about that whole forgiveness thing... yes, I forgive and highly recommend that to anyone who's been hurt this way. But I do not suggest becoming a doormat to that person in the process.
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