No, no, no. That's not how you do it.

Don't give up.  I tell myself that every single day.  Like any other routine task (taking a shower, eating breakfast, getting dressed, having coffee) my mantra at the beginning of each day when taking a shower is basically ANYTHING I can tell myself to make sure I don't crawl back into the recliner and go to sleep.  It's getting increasingly hard to do this, to be successful.  Yet I keep on keepin' on.

What else IS there?

T has tried to chill over the weekend, which is a huge blessing.  Nothing is fixed, repaired, or 'normal' by any stretch, but at least it's something, even a small token or two in order to make the holiday weekend at least bearable.  Still, the ever-present truth of the situation sits in the room, waiting, until it's needed to spring into action again.  That truth, is a real bitch that's hell-bent on utter destruction.

The truth.  It's the situation as it stands, the indifferent coasting of a guy who is about as motivated as a rock.  He doesn't really care one way or the other how life goes as long as he can work, eat, watch tv, sleep, and go on the internet.  And I know, I know.  Sounds SO depressing, doesn't it?  But here's the thing--that stuff makes him HAPPY, and I'm not exaggerating.

But at least there was a little more calm over the depressing holiday weekend, a little less anxiety, a little less bullshit.  Guess I would have to call that a good Christmas if asked.  Kind of sad, when you think about it.  But no one ever said the truth is supposed to be pretty.

Eating "Normally" made me sick as hell, and I'm going back on my diet on Wednesday.  I'll be low carbing it again and so have to do some prep work ahead of time.  No biggie.  I'll get there.  Will I be able to remain on that diet is still yet to be seen, because my stomach and gut are NOT happy right now, no telling how they will react to this richer diet.  We'll see.  If all else fails I'll go back to WW.  The only reason I wanted to try something else is that WW wasn't really helping to lower my morning blood sugar.

C'est la vie.  And... I'll take it one day at a time.

meh.